This week’s topic was about naming the cage that holds us back. I was surprised to name the cage, ‘shoulds’. I was also surprised just how tight and dark it was in there, even though it was a cage with bars. It seemed that the cage had to be so small to squash me so that I did not have a chance to look around and see my options as I may be tempted.
I noticed as I struggled the cage got tighter so that I could not see but what happened was that the cage door became open, it was never locked. I stood out of the cage and was able to stretch my legs, stand up and the cage was so small compared to me. I was standing looking down on it. I see so many people struggle with this in counselling and coaching and am looking forward to trying this method with them.
An image, metaphor appeared for my wings. This seemed so perfect for so many reasons. Phoenix rising, the balance of life, grey moments and more colourful moments. Same spectrum, life’s spectrum. Also that life is so not black and white and the big heart in the middle.
I used to feel that it was a selfish thing to love yourself, however when I look at some of the things I have done to gain love, approval, acknowledgment that has not served me at all, it reminds of how important it is to learn this for yourself.
When you can learn to love yourself, truly then you are less needy from others. You can let go of relationships that do not work for you. You start doing more of the things that feel right for you do to do. You get to share this more content way of being with others and the ripple affects are incredible.
What belief is trapping you to do things that do not really fit your values? How may you challenge that belief in a tiny way to start with? Is this the truth? Asking the question is a small step and pondering it is part of the process. Sometimes making a huge big change can be a little overwhelming so small questions are part of the journey.
Ultimately the more you live by YOUR values the more you will be in the driver’s seat of your life.
From an enlightened Liz yet again.