Reacting to assumptions

Recently there seems to be some energy around where quite a few people are reacting to assumptions that are not accurate and what is concerning and a little alarming is that there can be such a conviction in how we sometimes behave and how we use words that do not belong to the other person.

I have witnessed some people making incredible decisions, cutting people off, teaching them a lesson, being hurt because they did not get to hear what they wanted or needed and it affects everyone all round and based on sometimes nothing, assumptions.   Well here is the thing it is not based on nothing it is usually not always based on how a person feels about themselves, how vulnerable they are feeling.

When we come from a place of holding a fairly good esteem about ourselves, when we pretty much have a good insight into who we are we often can notice the thoughts in our head that create these amazing stories and perhaps we may share them with one other, journal with them, explore them and know that it does belong to the other person or indeed us.

I was recently in a situation where I was immersed in something that really mattered to me.  I had been busier than I would have liked, going to bed late watching those boxed TV series, which I have banned myself from and so not on peak form you might say.  I expected to see a certain behaviour or have a certain response and was surprised how my tummy started to respond.  I know this stuff right!!! And I am human.

Over a couple of days I had not realised how I had allowed my thoughts to run rampant and therefore had corresponding feelings.  In the ‘olden’ days I might have sent an email or spoke to the person/people but thank goodness I did not do that. What I realised was that I was trying to seek reassurance in some way because I was doubting myself for whatever reason.

I wonder how many times we do this and how many times we have been so wrong.  The anxiety, stress, the way we may treat another because we feel hurt when there is often nothing that warrants such responses only our insecurities for whatever reason.

If you find yourself thinking, saying this always happens to me, I always this or you hear yourself say ‘everytime’, ‘never’ for example, check yourself out and challenge your thoughts feelings, it so leads to a more peaceful life not only for yourself but others too.

Some simple CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), sometimes used in counselling;

So we can ‘pause’  and then follow this simple suggestion!

 

My blog on liberation might be worth a read as it suggests ways of being so we can let go of the need for approval and therefore reacting to assumptions that do not serve us.

From a more thoughtful and enlightened
Liz